Jay Leno Quote
With hurricanes, flooding, tornados, mud slides, fires out of control, severe thunderstorms tearing up the country from one end to another, and with the threat of bird flu and terrorist attacks, are we sure this is a good time to take God out of the Pledge of Allegiance?
Traffic Accident
Well, Your Honor, I really didn't mean to get into a fight with the driver of the car I ran into the other day.
I was rear-ended, which caused me to rear-end the car in front of me. The driver, whom you can see is a dwarf, approached aggressively after the accident yelling, "I am NOT happy."
I decided that I would try to lighten things up and answered, "OK, I can see that, but then which one are you?"
That's when the fight started.
Life After Death
A boss asked one of his employees, "Do you believe in life after death?"
"Yes, sir," replied the new employee.
"I thought you would," said the boss. "Yesterday after you left to go to your grandmother's funeral, she stopped in to see you!"
Support a Family
The prospective son-in-law was asked by his girl friend's father, "Son, can you support a family?"
"Well, no, sir," he replied. "I was just planning to support your daughter. The rest of you have to fend for yourselves."
The Water Pistol
My five year old son squealed with delight when he opened his birthday present from his grandmother. It was a water pistol. He promptly ran to the sink to fill it.
"Mom," I said. I'm surprised at you. "Don't you remember how we used to drive you crazy with water pistols?"
My mom smiled and said, "Yes, I remember."
Comments (0)
add comment