LETTER FROM MY WIFE

Dear Husband:
>
>I'm writing you this letter to tell you that I'm leaving you for good.
>I've been a good woman to you for seven years and I have nothing to show
>for it. These last two weeks have been hell. Your boss called to tell me
>that you had quit your job today and that was the last straw.
>
>Last week, you came home and didn't notice that I had gotten my hair and
>nails done,I cooked your favorite meal and even wore a brand new negligee.
>You came home and ate in two minutes, and went straight to sleep after
>watching the game.
>
>You don't tell me you love me anymore, you don't touch me or anything.
>Either you're cheating or you don't love me anymore, what ever the case
>is, I'm gone.
>
>P.S. If you're trying to find me, don't. Your BROTHER and I are moving
>away to West Virginia together! Have a great life!
>
>Your EX-Wife
>
>
>Dear Ex-Wife
>
>Nothing has made my day more than receiving your letter.
>
>It's true that you and I have been married for seven years, although a
>good woman is a far cry from what you've been. I watch sports so much to
>try to drown out your constant nagging. Too bad that doesn't work.
>
>I did notice when you cut off all of your hair last week, the first thing
>that came to mind was "You look just like a man!" My mother raised me to
>not say anything if you can't say anything nice.
>
>When you cooked my favorite meal, you must have gotten me confused with MY
>BROTHER, because I stopped eating pork seven years ago. I went to sleep on
>you when you had on that new negligee because the price tag was still on
>it. I prayed that it was a coincidence that my brother had just borrowed
>fifty dollars from me that morning and your negligee was $49.99. After all
>of this, I still loved you and felt that we could work it out. So when I
>discovered that I had hit the lotto for ten million dollars, I quit my job
>and bought us two tickets to Jamaica. But when I got home you were gone.
>Everything happens for a reason I guess. I hope you have the filling life
>you always wanted. My lawyer said with your letter that you wrote, you
>won't get a dime from me. So take care.
>
>P.S. I don't know if I ever told you this but Carl,my brother was born
>Carla. I hope that's not a problem.